DTD Ep21 Losing your identity in motherhood I’ve got you

EP21 Losing your identity in motherhood? I’ve got you

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In the chaos of motherhood, we often lose sight of ourselves. From the career shifts to the sleepless nights, join me on a journey of rediscovery. This is more than a podcast; it's a roadmap for embracing the beautiful chaos of matresence.

Motherhood is a kaleidoscope of emotions, from the ecstatic highs of holding your newborn to the challenging lows of sleepless nights and postpartum struggles. In this episode, “Losing Your Identity in Motherhood? I’ve Got You,” I lay bare the tumultuous journey of losing and finding oneself in the beautiful chaos of raising tiny humans.

It all began with a wardrobe transition – from glamorous heels to comfy sweats, and perfectly done hair to the messy bun that became my signature look. The schedule that once revolved around meetings and personal needs now danced to the unpredictable rhythm of a newborn’s cries.

Unexpectedly pregnant and in line for my dream job of Head of Department, I navigated a career upheaval that saw me resigning from a shiny corporate position for a scrappy startup gig. Little did I know that this decision would be the first of many steps toward rediscovering my identity.

Fast forward through six months of a living hell with managers who saw my pregnancy as a professional demise, and a traumatic birth leading to an incredibly challenging colicky baby named Nathan. The postpartum struggles were real, but they were also the catalyst for a crystal-clear realization—I didn’t want to return to the preconceived career path. Thus, began my journey into the uncertain world of strategic partnerships and eventually founding my own digital marketing business.

Motherhood, as Dr. Alexandra Sacks eloquently terms it, is a state of “matresence.” A term that encapsulates the emotional upheaval akin to adolescence, where hormones and body morphing lead to a reshaping of our emotional landscape. While oxytocin binds us to our babies, our minds often play a conflicting tune, reminding us of our unmet physical, emotional, and spiritual needs.

Normal losses associated with new moms became part of my reality—no more me-time, the loss of routine, strained relationships, and the changes in body and brain. The professional identity that I cherished was put to the test as I juggled the demands of work and motherhood.

Yet, within the symphony of chaos, I discovered coping strategies. Allowing myself to grieve the loss of my former self, journaling to process emotions, prioritizing self-care to keep my cup full, and setting goals that brought joy and fulfillment.

Motherhood, though demanding, should not erase the multifaceted individual within. Beyond the role of a mother lies a person with dreams, passions, and goals. As my children grow, I’m intentional about not losing myself entirely to the title of ‘mom.’ The fear of staring into the mirror at an older age, feeling lost, propels me to embrace change.

Change, as Tony Robbins says, happens when the pain of staying the same outweighs the risk of change. So, let’s dream big, set goals, and rediscover ourselves in the intricate tapestry of motherhood. In the chaos lies the beauty of transformation, and we’re all navigating this symphony together.

Join the conversation and share your journey. Rediscover yourself; you’re not alone. You’ve Got This.

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