5 Signs You’re Experiencing Identity Loss in Motherhood

Introduction

Let’s talk more about identity loss in motherhood. As ambitious women who excel in our careers or businesses while also nurturing our families, we often find ourselves grappling with a sense of losing our identity in the chaos of the demands of motherhood. In this post, I’ll explore five signs that indicate you might be experiencing this identity shift, offering insights and strategies to rediscover you!

1. Feeling Disconnected from Core Values and Passions:

One of the first signs of identity loss in motherhood is feeling disconnected from our core values and passions. As high performers, we’re used to relentlessly pursuing our professional goals, but the responsibilities of motherhood throws this off balance and you find yourself questioning your goals, values, passions. Super uncomfortable, I get it!

I know that it goes without saying, but your Core Values are apart of your foundation and driving force which in essence will form part of your identity. But here’s what I do want to mention → they CAN change! Who we were pre-mom, what drove us, how we saw our lives has changed, right? So our values need a review and realignment. For me personally, I found that I held ambition as a core value which changed into integrity as a priority in my life. And this is ok! It’s good, actually. As high performers, who doesn’t LOVE a good review, check-in, reset and let’s go moment?!

2. Loss of Drive and Enthusiasm in Professional Pursuits

Have you noticed a decline in your motivation and enthusiasm for your career or your business? Totally get it!

Burnout is REAL and it needs to be taken more seriously. I’m so done with the romantic notion of burnout .. it’s NOT GOOD! End of story.

Ok, off my soap box… Pre-mom you were able to fully focus all energy into your business or job. Deadlines were apart of your normal strive and no matter how tight, you didn’t flinch. But now… you’re dealing with a mini-human who needs you 24/7 on TOP of the demands you had already. And let’s be honest, as high performers, our “businesses” or “jobs” were that of at least 10 people already, right? Now your loads have increased exponentially.

Mentally

Emotionally

Physically

Spiritually

Easier said that done, but we need to redefine priorities. It may need a review of your professional life as your goals and values would have changed. Taking some time out on this one does open up your beautiful mind to new ways, new goals and new found excitement at what’s to come.

3. Struggling to Maintain Work-Life Integration and Balance

Achieving work-life balance is a constant challenge for high-performance moms. The pressure to excel in both our careers and our roles as mothers can leave us feeling stretched thin and that delightful motherhood overwhelm.

Again, we need to redefine priorities, but one of the key elements in this balance ordeal is around perfectionism. Work-life balance had a different meaning to us pre-mom, so it wasn’t paid as much attention, right? Now it has a whole NEW meaning as the “life” side of this really does need our attention. Like, all of our attention! So the balance gets skewed.. one way or the other.

Dropping our constant need for perfectionism (I have a free perfectionism detox challenge 😉) will help iron out our priorities here with a clear mind.

For our businesses / jobs → our needle movers will absolutely take front and centre. There is no need to be nit-picking on the ‘aesthetics’ that have never proven to bring in the goods. Let them go … with a “Done is better than perfect” attitude.

For our home → NO ONE has a picture perfect house, happy kids, all home-cooked meals, laundry all done at the same time. So drop the expectation 🙃

4. Feeling Isolated or Misunderstood

Do you ever feel like you’re bouncing between two worlds, yet never quite fitting into either? From either being overlooked when opportunities arise at your workplace or with your business or judged when a child is sick and you need be there, work now feels like you don’t belong. Then with home life, you could be feeling selfish for wanting more out of life and your family not understanding or even share your vision. It can feel incredibly isolating!!

Surrounding yourself with like-minded, driven, high performing moms really and truly helps! Now I’m the first one to say that I do not have such a squad around me, but what I do have is a great support of this squad online, dotted all around the world. When you feel less alone in your ambition, less guilty because of your aspirations and more present in all that you do because you don’t feel like you don’t belong → it’s a game changer.

5. Experiencing Imposter Syndrome or Self-Doubt

Imposter syndrome is so common!!! And motherhood can exacerbate these feelings of inadequacy. In your business, you’re probably on top of it all and imposter syndrome hasn’t been popping in to say hi … however, in motherhood it’s probably front and centre, right? And of course it would be, because this is new. We wouldn’t be who we are if we didn’t feel imposter syndrome as it’s a clear sign to say that we are beginners. As high performers, we care. We want to be and do the best that we can, all the time, with everything that we do, right? So when something is ‘new’ – it creates uncertainty which in turn creates a fear. Fear of failure, success and rejection. Imposter Syndrome will show up in all it’s glory as a protection mechanism to keep you in your comfort zone and not trying anything new.

But here we are, in the thick of it, navigating imposter syndrome and feeling all the self-doubt. My advice on this one is a few bits → first off you need to document all of your achievements. I know as a new mom, you probably don’t think you have much, but let’s start with → you gave birth to a beautiful, healthy baby. Next, you have taken on the mother role with grace and resilience. There’s no instructions, no manual that came with your baby, but here you are, doing the best damn job anyone can do.

Your intuition is now your superpower. Listen to it. Use it. It will guide you through every twist and turn you face in motherhood. Imposter syndrome arrived as it does, but it’s time for it to go. Nothing more to see here!

Conclusion

Identity loss in motherhood is a journey that many of us navigate with resilience and determination. As high-performance moms, we’re no strangers to challenges, but the shift in identity that comes with motherhood can feel particularly daunting. By recognizing the signs of identity loss and taking proactive steps to rediscover ourselves, we can reclaim our sense of self and thrive in both our professional and personal lives.

Remember, you’re not alone on this journey. Reach out to your support network, seek guidance when needed, and trust in your ability to adapt and grow. Embrace the evolution of your identity and celebrate the unique blend of strengths that make you the incredible woman you are.