What is Childhood Trauma?

Childhood trauma refers to experiences in early life that are emotionally painful or distressing and that overwhelm a child’s ability to cope. These experiences can include physical, emotional, or sexual abuse; neglect; witnessing violence; or enduring a household with substance abuse or mental illness. The impact of such trauma can be profound and long-lasting, affecting an individual’s emotional, psychological, and physical well-being.

Dr. Gabor Maté, a renowned expert in trauma and addiction (and one of my mentors and favorite humans!), emphasizes that childhood trauma is not just about what happens to a child, but also about what doesn’t happen. He explains that trauma can result from the absence of healthy emotional support, attachment, and attunement from caregivers. According to Dr. Maté, “Trauma is not what happens to you, but what happens inside you as a result of what happens to you.”

 

Understanding Big “T” and Small “t” Traumas

To put this into context, childhood trauma can include what we often refer to as the big “T” traumas, such as sexual abuse, physical abuse, or the loss of a parent or caregiver. However, it can also include more subtle experiences that are often overlooked, sometimes referred to as the small “t” traumas. While these are on the DSM-5, I don’t agree with the limitations of them.

Big “T” traumas are significant events that are clearly traumatic and cause immediate harm to a child’s emotional and physical well-being. These can include:

• Sexual Abuse: Unwanted or inappropriate sexual contact or behavior.
• Physical Abuse: Intentional use of physical force that can result in injury.
• Loss of a Parent or Caregiver: Death, abandonment, or prolonged separation from a primary caregiver.
• Witnessing Violence: Seeing domestic violence, community violence, or other violent acts.
• Severe Neglect: Failing to provide for a child’s basic physical, emotional, or educational needs.

Small “t” traumas are more subtle and often accumulate over time, leading to significant emotional harm. These can include (but are not limited to):

• Sleep Training: Practices that involve leaving a baby to cry alone for extended periods, which can cause feelings of abandonment and stress.
• Dismissal of Emotions: Being told to “stop crying” or “toughen up,” which can invalidate a child’s feelings and teach them to suppress emotions.
• Emotional Neglect: Lack of emotional support, affection, and attention, leading to feelings of unworthiness and insecurity.
• Criticism and Comparison: Constant criticism or being compared to others can erode self-esteem and build a sense of inadequacy.
• Parental Overcontrol: Overbearing or controlling parenting that stifles a child’s autonomy and independence.

 

Manifestation in Adult Life as Moms

I want to focus on how these small “t” traumas can profoundly impact our adult lives, especially in our roles as moms. Here are some examples of how these early experiences might show up:

1. Difficulty Expressing Emotions: If you were frequently told to “stop crying” as a child, you might struggle to express your emotions as an adult. This can lead to bottling up feelings, which can eventually cause emotional outbursts or chronic stress. As a mom, you might find it challenging to validate your children’s emotions, inadvertently passing on the same pattern.
2. Fear of Abandonment: Experiencing emotional neglect or sleep training that made you feel abandoned can create a deep-seated fear of abandonment. This might manifest as clinginess or anxiety in your relationships. As a mom, you might overcompensate by being overly protective or anxious about leaving your children, even for short periods.
3. Perfectionism and Self-Criticism: Constant criticism or being compared to others can lead to perfectionism and severe self-criticism. As a mom, you might hold yourself to unrealistic standards, feeling like you’re never good enough. This can cause burnout and make it hard to enjoy the parenting journey.
4. Struggles with Boundaries: If you experienced parental overcontrol, you might struggle with setting or respecting boundaries. This can lead to difficulties in managing your children’s behavior or in maintaining healthy boundaries in your relationships. You might find yourself either too permissive or too controlling as a parent.
5. Low Self-Worth: Emotional neglect or constant comparison can erode self-esteem and foster a sense of inadequacy. As a mom, you might doubt your abilities, feel unworthy of love and support, and struggle with feelings of isolation. This can affect your ability to advocate for yourself and your needs, both at home and in your career.
6. Difficulty Trusting Others: If your emotional needs were not met as a child, you might find it hard to trust others. This can affect your relationships with partners, friends, and even your children. As a mom, you might struggle with delegating tasks or accepting help, leading to feelings of overwhelm and burnout.

Just as small “t” traumas can subtly shape our lives, big “T” traumas can have profound and lasting impacts, particularly if not processed correctly. Here’s how these significant traumatic events might show up in our adult lives, especially in our roles as moms:

1. Severe Anxiety and PTSD: Experiencing major traumas such as sexual or physical abuse can lead to severe anxiety disorders or post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD). Symptoms can include flashbacks, nightmares, and intense emotional distress. As a mom, this can make it difficult to manage daily stresses and can lead to hypervigilance or overprotectiveness towards your children.
2. Emotional Dysregulation: Big “T” traumas can disrupt your ability to regulate emotions, leading to intense and unpredictable emotional responses. This can manifest as frequent mood swings, irritability, or overwhelming sadness. In your role as a mom, you might find it challenging to provide consistent emotional support for your children.
3. Attachment Issues: Trauma involving the loss of a parent or caregiver can severely impact your ability to form healthy attachments. This can result in difficulty trusting others, fear of abandonment, or challenges with intimacy. As a mom, you might struggle with forming secure attachments with your children, affecting their emotional development.
4. Chronic Health Problems: The body often holds the score of unresolved trauma, leading to chronic health issues such as heart disease, obesity, or autoimmune disorders. This connection between trauma and physical illness highlights the importance of addressing emotional wounds for overall health. As a mom, dealing with chronic health issues can add an extra layer of stress and impact your ability to care for your family.
5. Self-Destructive Behaviors: Unprocessed trauma can lead to self-destructive behaviors as coping mechanisms. This might include substance abuse, self-harm, or engaging in risky behaviors. These behaviors are often attempts to numb the pain or escape from distressing emotions. As a mom, such behaviors can create an unstable environment for your children and perpetuate a cycle of trauma.
6. Interpersonal Relationship Challenges: Big “T” traumas can affect your ability to form and maintain healthy relationships. You might experience difficulties with communication, conflict resolution, or maintaining intimacy. In your role as a mom, these challenges can affect not only your relationship with your partner but also your ability to model healthy relationships for your children.
7. Feelings of Worthlessness and Shame: Trauma can instill deep feelings of worthlessness and shame, impacting your self-esteem and self-worth. These feelings can make it hard to advocate for yourself and your needs, both at home and in your career. As a mom, this can lead to self-doubt and feeling inadequate in your parenting role.

 

The Path to Healing from Big “T” Traumas

Healing from big “T” traumas involves acknowledging and processing these deep wounds. Here are some steps to consider:

1. Professional Support: Engaging in therapy, especially trauma-focused therapies like EMDR, cognitive-behavioral therapy (CBT), specialised hypnotherapy or somatic experiencing, can be crucial in processing and healing from significant traumas.
2. Building a Support Network: Surrounding yourself with a supportive and understanding network can provide the emotional support necessary for healing. This can include friends, family, or support groups.
3. Practicing Self-Compassion: Being gentle and compassionate with yourself as you navigate the healing process is vital. Recognize that healing is a journey and allow yourself the time and space needed to heal.
4. Developing Healthy Coping Mechanisms: Learning and practicing healthy coping mechanisms such as mindfulness, meditation, and physical activity can help manage stress and emotional responses.
5. Creating a Safe and Nurturing Environment: As a mom, it’s important to create a safe and nurturing environment for your children. This includes being emotionally present, providing consistent support, and modeling healthy coping mechanisms.

 

Healing from Small “t” Traumas

While small “t” traumas may seem less significant compared to big “T” traumas, their cumulative effect can profoundly impact our lives. Healing from these subtle yet pervasive experiences involves several key steps:

1. Recognition and Validation: The first step in healing is recognizing and validating your experiences. Understand that small “t” traumas are legitimate and can have a significant impact on your emotional and psychological well-being. Acknowledging these experiences is crucial to begin the healing process.
2. Self-Compassion: Practice self-compassion by being kind and understanding towards yourself. Recognize that your feelings and reactions are valid and that it’s okay to seek help. Self-compassion involves treating yourself with the same kindness and care that you would offer to a friend.
3. Therapy and Professional Support: Consider seeking therapy to process and heal from small “t” traumas. Therapists can provide a safe space to explore your experiences and develop strategies for coping. Cognitive-behavioral therapy (CBT), specialised hypnotherapy, mindfulness-based therapies, and other forms of counseling can be particularly helpful in addressing these issues.
4. Building Emotional Awareness: Developing emotional awareness is essential in healing from small “t” traumas. This involves recognizing and understanding your emotions, as well as learning to express them in healthy ways. Practices such as journaling, meditation, and mindfulness can help increase emotional awareness and regulation.
5. Creating Healthy Boundaries: Establishing and maintaining healthy boundaries is crucial for healing. This involves learning to say no, recognizing your limits, and protecting your emotional space. Healthy boundaries can help you build more balanced and respectful relationships.
6. Developing Self-Esteem: Small “t” traumas can erode self-esteem and build on feelings of inadequacy. Engage in activities that build self-esteem and confidence. This might include pursuing hobbies, setting and achieving small goals, and practicing positive self-affirmations.
7. Healthy Relationships: Surround yourself with supportive and understanding people who respect your boundaries and validate your experiences. Healthy relationships provide a foundation for healing by offering emotional support and a sense of security.
8. Reparenting Yourself: Sometimes, healing from small “t” traumas involves giving yourself the nurturing and support you may have missed out on as a child. This concept, known as reparenting, involves providing yourself with the care, encouragement, and validation that you needed growing up.
9. Mindfulness and Self-Care: Incorporate mindfulness and self-care practices into your daily routine. Mindfulness can help you stay grounded and present, reducing the impact of past traumas on your current life. Self-care practices such as regular exercise, healthy eating, sufficient sleep, and relaxation techniques can promote overall well-being.
10. Educational Resources: Educate yourself about trauma and its effects. Understanding the psychological and physiological impacts of trauma can empower you to take control of your healing journey. Books, online courses, and support groups can provide valuable insights and support. (Highly recommend Dr Gabor Maté’s books)

 

Practical Tips for Moms

For moms, healing from small “t” traumas also involves creating a nurturing environment for your children, which can include:

1. Modeling Healthy Emotional Expression: Show your children that it’s okay to express their emotions by modeling healthy emotional expression yourself. Encourage them to talk about their feelings and validate their experiences.
2. Creating a Safe Space: Ensure that your home is a safe and supportive environment where your children feel heard and valued. This involves being emotionally present, providing consistent support, and maintaining open communication.
3. Breaking the Cycle: Work on breaking the cycle of trauma by not repeating the patterns of dismissal or invalidation that you experienced. Focus on positive reinforcement, active listening, and nurturing your children’s emotional needs.

 

The objective around childhood trauma awareness and healing as moms is that we break the generational cycle!

This has to be one of my most favourite topics to talk about. However, I will say that it has NOT been an easy journey for me to transition from a fixed mindset to a growth mindset, and all the inbetweens like scarcity, but it has been one of my most beneficial transformations. In my motherhood role, using my growth mindset learnings to help my children grow up with this mindset is priceless.

What is A Growth Mindset?

A growth mindset is the belief that abilities and intelligence can be developed through dedication, hard work, and continuous learning. It’s the understanding that challenges and failures are opportunities for growth rather than life-stopping dramas.

My pre-mom life was in corporate and while I have always loved learning, as a young female in that environment you’re under pressure to just know everything, do everything and be perfect.

No mistakes.

So inevitably you will build up a resistance to anything “new” or out of your comfort zone as you know that you will never come first right out of the gate. It takes time, with learning and pivoting.

In hind sight, sure, I get it. But when I was in my 20s and in a global corporate → I can assure you, this is not the mindset I was applying.

Today I see myself as a walking example of a growth mindset. I was never top of my class academically yet every course, class or workshop I attend now, I nail. Why? Because not only do I love learning, I also know that dedication is far more valuable than talent alone. And for me, what a beautiful life we live if we CAN do ANYTHING we put our minds to? Rather than being limited to what gifts, talents or skills we were born with.

 

Where Does The Term Growth Mindset Come From?

The term “growth mindset” was coined by psychologist Carol Dweck in her groundbreaking research on achievement and success. Dweck’s studies revealed that individuals who believe their talents can be developed (through hard work, good strategies, and input from others) have a growth mindset.

This contrasts with a fixed mindset, where individuals believe their basic abilities, intelligence, and talents are fixed traits.

 

Why is A Growth Mindset so Important?

In one short sentence → a growth mindset is the key to success. Why? For a few reasons:

• Resilience: It helps you bounce back from setbacks and view failures as learning opportunities.
• Adaptability: In today’s fast-paced world, the ability to adapt and learn new skills is invaluable.
• Self-Improvement: It encourages continuous personal and professional development.
• Positive Outlook: Promotes a positive and proactive approach to life’s challenges. (not to be confused with false positivity)

 

What are the Differences Between a Growth Mindset and a Fixed Mindset?

Understanding the differences between these two mindsets can help you recognize where you stand and how to shift your thinking →

I get asked this question a LOT so I decided to put some information down in order to answer as best I can. I have experienced both a Life Coach and a Transformation Life Coach and they most certainly both have their place and are both extremely helpful. It all depends on YOUR requirement and where you are at in what season of life.

So let’s break it down.

What is a Life Coach?

A life coach primarily focuses on helping you set and achieve specific personal or professional goals.

You would typically seek out a life coach when looking to set and achieve specific personal or professional goals, improve time management, enhance work-life balance, or need guidance and support to navigate the challenges of balancing career and family life.

The results you could expect from a life coach would be multifaceted, including various aspects of personal and professional growth:

1. Increased Clarity and Focus on Your Goals.

   A life coach helps you define and refine your goals, ensuring they align with your values and long-term vision. You will gain a clear understanding of what you want to achieve and the steps needed to get there, leading to a more focused and purposeful approach to your ambitions.

2. Improved Time Management and Productivity.

   Life coaches work with you to develop effective time management strategies, enabling you to prioritize tasks, eliminate distractions, and maximize productivity. This results in a more organized and efficient approach to your daily responsibilities, both at work and home.

3. Enhanced Personal and Professional Skills.

   Working with a life coach can help you develop critical skills such as communication, leadership, and problem-solving. These skills are essential for personal growth and professional advancement, empowering you to perform better in your career and personal life.

4. Greater Confidence in Decision-Making.

   Life coaching provides you with the tools and techniques to make informed and confident decisions. By understanding your strengths and weaknesses and learning how to evaluate options effectively, you can make choices that are aligned with your goals and values.

5. A More Balanced and Fulfilling Life.

   A life coach helps you create a balanced life by addressing various aspects of well-being, including physical health, emotional wellness, relationships, and career satisfaction. By achieving harmony between these areas, you can experience greater overall fulfillment and happiness.

6. Increased Motivation and Accountability.

   Life coaches provide the encouragement and accountability needed to stay committed to your goals. Regular check-ins and progress reviews ensure you remain motivated and on track, helping you overcome obstacles and maintain momentum.

7. Stress Reduction and Improved Well-being.

   With better organization, clearer goals, and enhanced skills, you can experience reduced stress and a greater sense of control over your life. This leads to improved mental and emotional well-being, allowing you to handle challenges with resilience and composure.

8. Personal Empowerment and Growth.

   Life coaching fosters a growth mindset, encouraging you to embrace challenges and view setbacks as opportunities for learning. This mindset shift promotes continuous personal development and empowers you to reach your full potential.

A typical session or program with a life coach would look like a structured and tailored journey designed to meet your specific needs and goals.

 

Here’s what you could expect:

Initial Consultation

1. Introduction and Rapport Building: The first session often starts with an introduction, where you and the life coach get to know each other. This is a crucial step for building trust and rapport. (this may, or may not be a free session)
2. Assessment and Goal Setting: The life coach will ask questions to understand your current situation, challenges, and aspirations. This helps in setting clear, achievable goals and outlining the overall direction of the coaching program.

 

Regular Sessions

1. Scheduled Meetings: Sessions are typically scheduled on a regular basis, such as weekly or bi-weekly, lasting between 45 to 60 minutes each.
2. Progress Review: Each session begins with a review of your progress since the last meeting. This includes discussing achievements, challenges, and any obstacles encountered.
3. Focused Coaching: The coach will address specific topics or goals for that session. This could involve:
   • Goal Refinement: Reassessing and refining goals as needed.
   • Action Planning: Creating detailed action plans for tasks and milestones.
   • Skill Development: Working on specific skills like time management, communication, or decision-making.
   • Problem Solving: Identifying and addressing any issues or barriers preventing progress.
4. Accountability and Motivation: The coach will provide accountability, helping you stay on track and maintain motivation. This could involve setting smaller, short-term goals and celebrating successes along the way.
5. Feedback and Reflection: You’ll receive constructive feedback and have the opportunity to reflect on your experiences, insights, and learning.

 

Between Sessions

1. Assignments and Exercises: You may be given tasks, exercises, or reflection prompts to work on between sessions. These are designed to reinforce learning and progress.
2. Support and Communication: Some coaches offer support between sessions via email or messaging to address any urgent questions or provide additional encouragement.

 

Closing Session

1. Final Review and Celebration: The program concludes with a final session to review your overall progress, celebrate achievements, and reflect on your journey.
2. Sustainability Plan: The coach will help you develop a plan to sustain your progress and continue your growth independently.

 

Program Duration

1. Short-Term Programs: These typically last 3-6 months and focus on achieving specific goals or addressing particular challenges.
2. Long-Term Programs: These can extend over 6 months to a year or more, focusing on deeper, more comprehensive personal and professional development.

 

Tools and Techniques

Life coaches use a variety of tools and techniques, including:

• Assessment Tools: Personality tests, strength assessments, and other diagnostic tools.
• Coaching Models: Frameworks like the GROW model (Goal, Reality, Options, Will) to structure sessions.
• Visualization and Mindfulness Exercises: Techniques to enhance self-awareness and focus.
• Behavioral and Cognitive Strategies: Methods to change limiting beliefs and foster positive habits.

 

In summary, a typical session or program with a life coach is a well-structured, personalized journey that includes regular sessions, ongoing support, and a focus on achieving specific goals and fostering overall personal growth.

Introduction to Personal Development

You’re a dedicated business owner and loving mother of two. You start your day with a to-do list that seems to grow longer with every passing minute. Between deadlines at work, managing household responsibilities, and ensuring your children are thriving, you often find yourself juggling multiple roles with little time left for you. Sound familiar?

Personal development is more than just a buzzword; it’s your secret weapon in navigating the complexities of your daily life. It’s about consciously striving for growth and improvement across various facets of life—mental, emotional, physical, and spiritual. For you, it means not just managing your responsibilities but excelling in them, while also finding fulfillment and balance in the middle of all the chaos.

Take a moment to consider your own journey as a working mom. How often do you reflect on your strengths, set goals to enhance your skills, or take deliberate steps to manage stress and prioritize self-care? Personal development is the ongoing commitment to becoming the best version of yourself, despite the challenges and demands that come with motherhood and a career.

In this post, we’ll explore why personal development is crucial for working moms, go into key areas of growth that can transform your life, and provide actionable strategies to help you thrive personally and professionally. (I’ve also put together a comprehensive guide for you, free of charge, to help you along the way )

 

What is Personal Development?

Let me start off by saying that personal development is a lifelong journey of self-improvement across various dimensions of life, including mental, emotional, physical, and spiritual growth. It involves actively pursuing growth by acquiring new skills, expanding knowledge, and updating your mindset towards continuous improvement.

This could look like → activities such as setting goals, cultivating healthy habits, enhancing self-awareness, and refining existing skills.

For working moms, personal development holds particular significance as we need to navigate the complexities of balancing professional responsibilities with personal well-being and family life. Basically we need, want and desire to be the best versions of ourselves, right?

 

Why is Personal Development So Important Both in Life & Motherhood?

Personal development is not just a journey; it’s a profound investment in yourself. Being the best version of you brings all the right feels of peace, content, joy, calm, happiness because you’re not constantly fighting all the ‘bits’ that need development. While the personal development journey is continuous, the more you achieve during this journey, the more your soul feels heard. As humans, we absolutely NEED to work on personal development, but as mothers – even more so!

We have been given this amazing gift of development, we don’t have to be defined by mistakes or pasts. We get to develop into better versions.

 

Here’s why investing in personal growth can significantly impact your journey and overall satisfaction:

1. Enhances Business Success and Growth (or Job Satisfaction)

Mom entrepreneurs who prioritize personal development often experience enhanced business success. By honing leadership, financial management, and marketing skills, mom entrepreneurs can effectively scale their ventures and adapt to market changes.

Investing in personal development often translates to increased job satisfaction. When working moms actively pursue growth in areas such as skills development, emotional intelligence, and leadership capabilities, they feel more engaged and fulfilled in their roles. According to a study by Forbes, entrepreneurs who invest in their personal growth report higher job satisfaction and are more likely to succeed in their ventures.

2. Reduces Stress and Burnout

Personal development equips mom entrepreneurs with essential strategies for managing stress and preventing burnout. Techniques such as mindfulness, time management, and resilience training enable them to navigate the pressures of entrepreneurship while maintaining mental and emotional well-being.

3. Improves Decision-Making and Leadership Skills

Investing in personal development enhances critical decision-making and leadership abilities among mom entrepreneurs. By cultivating emotional intelligence, strategic thinking, and effective communication, they can lead their teams with clarity and confidence.

4. Fosters Innovation and Adaptability

Personal development nurtures a mindset of innovation and adaptability, crucial for navigating competitive markets and industry changes. Mom entrepreneurs who embrace lifelong learning and creativity are better positioned to identify opportunities, innovate their products or services, and pivot their business strategies as needed. This flexibility and innovation mindset are key drivers of long-term entrepreneurial success.

5. Sets a Positive Example for Children and Family

Whether we wanted to be or not, we are role models for our children. When they see how we, as working moms, prioritize personal development, it demonstrates the value of lifelong learning, resilience, and self-improvement to them. By embodying these principles, we inspire our children to nurture their talents, pursue their aspirations, and contribute positively to their communities. This ripple effect reinforces a culture of growth, ambition, and mutual support within the family environment.

6. Enhances Self-Awareness and Confidence

Self-awareness is foundational to personal development. It helps us recognize strengths, weaknesses, and areas for growth (this is not always an easy one to see if you have not exercised the self-awareness muscle). Self-awareness boosts confidence which helps us, as working moms, to make informed decisions and take proactive steps in our personal and professional lives. Greater confidence can lead to improved leadership skills, effective decision-making, and enhanced interpersonal relationships both at work and home.

7. Improves Time Management and Productivity

Effective time management is critical for working moms. Mastering techniques such as prioritization, goal-setting, and delegation optimizes productivity and efficiency. This skill reduces stress and facilitates a balanced approach to managing work commitments alongside family and household responsibilities.

8. Promotes Emotional Well-Being

Personal development encourages the improvement of emotional intelligence and resilience. Practices such as mindfulness, stress management, and emotional regulation equip working moms with the tools to navigate challenges with composure, clarity and grace. (side note → this is not always 100% of the time, but you get my point )

9. Continuous Learning and Adaptability

Embracing personal development nurtures a growth mindset, characterized by a willingness to learn, adapt, and evolve in response to our ever changing circumstances. In our current climate of a rapidly evolving professional landscape, a growth mindset enables working moms to stay relevant, innovate, and seize new opportunities for career advancement.

What I LOVE about it is that it instills a culture of continuous learning within the family, encouraging our children to embrace challenges and pursue their own goals with resilience and determination. (priceless!)

10. Sets a Positive Example for Your Children

As role models, working moms demonstrate the value of lifelong learning, resilience, and self-improvement. By embodying these principles, they inspire their children to nurture their talents, pursue aspirations, and contribute positively to their communities.

11. Enhances Work-Life Balance

Whether we wanted to be or not, we are role models for our children. When they see how we, as working moms, prioritize personal development, it demonstrates the value of lifelong learning, resilience, and self-improvement to them. By embodying these principles, we inspire our children to nurture their talents, pursue their aspirations, and contribute positively to their communities. This ripple effect reinforces a culture of growth, ambition, and mutual support within the family environment.

Introduction

Let’s talk more about identity loss in motherhood. As ambitious women who excel in our careers or businesses while also nurturing our families, we often find ourselves grappling with a sense of losing our identity in the chaos of the demands of motherhood. In this post, I’ll explore five signs that indicate you might be experiencing this identity shift, offering insights and strategies to rediscover you!

1. Feeling Disconnected from Core Values and Passions:

One of the first signs of identity loss in motherhood is feeling disconnected from our core values and passions. As high performers, we’re used to relentlessly pursuing our professional goals, but the responsibilities of motherhood throws this off balance and you find yourself questioning your goals, values, passions. Super uncomfortable, I get it!

I know that it goes without saying, but your Core Values are apart of your foundation and driving force which in essence will form part of your identity. But here’s what I do want to mention → they CAN change! Who we were pre-mom, what drove us, how we saw our lives has changed, right? So our values need a review and realignment. For me personally, I found that I held ambition as a core value which changed into integrity as a priority in my life. And this is ok! It’s good, actually. As high performers, who doesn’t LOVE a good review, check-in, reset and let’s go moment?!

2. Loss of Drive and Enthusiasm in Professional Pursuits

Have you noticed a decline in your motivation and enthusiasm for your career or your business? Totally get it!

Burnout is REAL and it needs to be taken more seriously. I’m so done with the romantic notion of burnout .. it’s NOT GOOD! End of story.

Ok, off my soap box… Pre-mom you were able to fully focus all energy into your business or job. Deadlines were apart of your normal strive and no matter how tight, you didn’t flinch. But now… you’re dealing with a mini-human who needs you 24/7 on TOP of the demands you had already. And let’s be honest, as high performers, our “businesses” or “jobs” were that of at least 10 people already, right? Now your loads have increased exponentially.

Mentally

Emotionally

Physically

Spiritually

Easier said that done, but we need to redefine priorities. It may need a review of your professional life as your goals and values would have changed. Taking some time out on this one does open up your beautiful mind to new ways, new goals and new found excitement at what’s to come.

3. Struggling to Maintain Work-Life Integration and Balance

Achieving work-life balance is a constant challenge for high-performance moms. The pressure to excel in both our careers and our roles as mothers can leave us feeling stretched thin and that delightful motherhood overwhelm.

Again, we need to redefine priorities, but one of the key elements in this balance ordeal is around perfectionism. Work-life balance had a different meaning to us pre-mom, so it wasn’t paid as much attention, right? Now it has a whole NEW meaning as the “life” side of this really does need our attention. Like, all of our attention! So the balance gets skewed.. one way or the other.

Dropping our constant need for perfectionism (I have a free perfectionism detox challenge ) will help iron out our priorities here with a clear mind.

For our businesses / jobs → our needle movers will absolutely take front and centre. There is no need to be nit-picking on the ‘aesthetics’ that have never proven to bring in the goods. Let them go … with a “Done is better than perfect” attitude.

For our home → NO ONE has a picture perfect house, happy kids, all home-cooked meals, laundry all done at the same time. So drop the expectation

4. Feeling Isolated or Misunderstood

Do you ever feel like you’re bouncing between two worlds, yet never quite fitting into either? From either being overlooked when opportunities arise at your workplace or with your business or judged when a child is sick and you need be there, work now feels like you don’t belong. Then with home life, you could be feeling selfish for wanting more out of life and your family not understanding or even share your vision. It can feel incredibly isolating!!

Surrounding yourself with like-minded, driven, high performing moms really and truly helps! Now I’m the first one to say that I do not have such a squad around me, but what I do have is a great support of this squad online, dotted all around the world. When you feel less alone in your ambition, less guilty because of your aspirations and more present in all that you do because you don’t feel like you don’t belong → it’s a game changer.

5. Experiencing Imposter Syndrome or Self-Doubt

Imposter syndrome is so common!!! And motherhood can exacerbate these feelings of inadequacy. In your business, you’re probably on top of it all and imposter syndrome hasn’t been popping in to say hi … however, in motherhood it’s probably front and centre, right? And of course it would be, because this is new. We wouldn’t be who we are if we didn’t feel imposter syndrome as it’s a clear sign to say that we are beginners. As high performers, we care. We want to be and do the best that we can, all the time, with everything that we do, right? So when something is ‘new’ – it creates uncertainty which in turn creates a fear. Fear of failure, success and rejection. Imposter Syndrome will show up in all it’s glory as a protection mechanism to keep you in your comfort zone and not trying anything new.

But here we are, in the thick of it, navigating imposter syndrome and feeling all the self-doubt. My advice on this one is a few bits → first off you need to document all of your achievements. I know as a new mom, you probably don’t think you have much, but let’s start with → you gave birth to a beautiful, healthy baby. Next, you have taken on the mother role with grace and resilience. There’s no instructions, no manual that came with your baby, but here you are, doing the best damn job anyone can do.

Your intuition is now your superpower. Listen to it. Use it. It will guide you through every twist and turn you face in motherhood. Imposter syndrome arrived as it does, but it’s time for it to go. Nothing more to see here!

Conclusion

Identity loss in motherhood is a journey that many of us navigate with resilience and determination. As high-performance moms, we’re no strangers to challenges, but the shift in identity that comes with motherhood can feel particularly daunting. By recognizing the signs of identity loss and taking proactive steps to rediscover ourselves, we can reclaim our sense of self and thrive in both our professional and personal lives.

Remember, you’re not alone on this journey. Reach out to your support network, seek guidance when needed, and trust in your ability to adapt and grow. Embrace the evolution of your identity and celebrate the unique blend of strengths that make you the incredible woman you are.

Welcome to motherhood intuition, where gut feelings, instinctual reactions, and quiet whispers guide us on our journey through the wild ride of raising children. As a mother of three, I’ve learned to rely on my intuitive messages to navigate the ups and downs of motherhood, and it has never led me astray.

What is Intuition?

Let’s get right into it … Motherhood Intuition is one of the best superpowers we are gifted with. I personally make most of my decisions based off my intuitive messages and it has never led me astray. Let’s do a quick exploration of what intuition is and why it holds such significance:

Gut Feeling: Intuition is often described as a “gut feeling” or an inner knowing that arises without conscious reasoning. It’s that subtle nudge, that instinctual reaction, or that quiet voice within that speaks to you. (and no, I’m not meaning any negative self-talk or criticism!)

Subconscious Processing: Your intuition draws upon a wealth of subconscious information and experiences that your mind has collected over time. It sifts through this vast database to provide you with insights and guidance, even when you’re not consciously aware of all the details. Your subconscious is always on!

Emotional Intelligence: Intuition is deeply intertwined with emotional intelligence. It’s the ability to tune into your own emotions and those of others, allowing you to navigate complex interpersonal dynamics with empathy and understanding.

Connection to Higher Self: Some believe that intuition is a connection to a higher source of wisdom or universal consciousness. Whether you view it in spiritual or psychological terms, intuition transcends mere intellect, tapping into a deeper well of insight and wisdom. (more to come on this side of the woo-woo! )

Why Does it Matter in Motherhood?

Motherhood is a wild-ride, right? With having 3 small kids, I can tell you that I grab any extra help I can get … and that’s where I realised how intuition in motherhood is a game changer. Here are a few reasons why I feel it is →

Rapid Decision-Making: Motherhood often demands quick decisions in high-pressure situations. Intuition becomes your rapid-response system, enabling you to make choices swiftly and decisively, especially when there isn’t time to weigh all the pros and cons. (and it definitely lets you know when you are leaning towards the wrong decision!)

Bonding with Your Child: Intuition fosters a deep bond between you and your child. It helps you understand their needs, emotions, and cues even before they can express them verbally. This empathetic connection strengthens the foundation of your relationship.

Confidence Booster: Raising children can sometimes, ok most of the time, feel like stumbling through a dark room. Intuition can be your guiding light, boosting your confidence and reassuring you that you’re on the right path, even when the uncertainty feels relentless.

Self-Trust: Trusting your intuition is an act of self-affirmation. It’s a declaration that you know yourself and your child better than anyone else, and spoiler → YOU DO! Allowing your intuition to empower you to parent authentically, helps with the constant need for validation or approval from external sources.

Reducing Mom Guilt: Intuition is a powerful antidote to mom guilt. When you trust your instincts, you can let go of second-guessing yourself and worrying about whether you’re doing “enough” as a mother. Instead, you can focus on being present, responsive, and attuned to your child’s needs.

In essence, intuition in motherhood is not just a luxury; it’s a survival skill, a source of strength, and a beacon of wisdom that guides you on your journey through the joys and challenges of raising children.

The History of Intuition

The concept of intuition has a rich history spanning various cultures and philosophical traditions. Let me dive into a brief overview for you (you may jump over this section if you have zero interest in nerding out here ) →

Ancient Philosophical Roots:

Greek Philosophy: In ancient Greece, philosophers such as Plato and Aristotle explored the nature of intuition. Plato referred to intuition as a form of divine inspiration or innate knowledge that the soul possesses. Aristotle, on the other hand, described intuition as a type of reasoning that operates at a subconscious level.

Eastern Traditions: Eastern philosophical traditions, such as Hinduism, Buddhism, and Taoism, also emphasized the importance of intuition. In Hinduism, intuition is seen as a channel through which individuals can access higher spiritual truths. Similarly, in Buddhism, intuition is associated with insight and wisdom that transcends intellectual understanding. Taoism emphasizes the cultivation of intuitive awareness to align with the natural flow of the universe.

Psychological Perspectives:

Carl Jung: The Swiss psychiatrist Carl Jung played a significant role in popularizing the concept of intuition in modern psychology. He proposed that intuition is one of four primary psychological functions, alongside sensation, thinking, and feeling. Jung described intuition as a perception of unconscious processes and a source of creative inspiration.

Freudian Influence: Sigmund Freud, although more focused on the unconscious mind and its role in shaping behavior, acknowledged the importance of intuition in psychological processes. Freud’s concept of “gut feelings” or instincts shares similarities with the intuitive insights described by Jung.

Evolutionary Biology:

Some evolutionary biologists suggest that intuition may have evolved as an adaptive mechanism to help humans navigate their environment more efficiently. In situations where quick decisions are necessary for survival, intuition allows individuals to respond rapidly based on subconscious cues and past experiences.

Cultural Variations:

The significance and interpretation of intuition vary across cultures. While some cultures may place a strong emphasis on intuitive decision-making and spiritual intuition, others may prioritize rationality and logical reasoning. Cultural beliefs, values, and practices shape how intuition is understood and utilized within different societies.

Contemporary Perspectives:

In contemporary psychology and neuroscience, researchers continue to explore the mechanisms underlying intuition and its role in decision-making, problem-solving, and creativity. Studies suggest that intuition involves complex cognitive processes, including pattern recognition, emotional processing, and implicit learning.

Overall, the history of intuition reflects its enduring presence in human thought and experience, spanning philosophical, psychological, and cultural domains. Whether viewed as a gift of divine insight, a product of unconscious cognition, or a fundamental aspect of human nature, intuition continues to intrigue and inspire exploration across disciplines.

Terms to Know

Let’s go into the several terms and concepts that can deepen your understanding about intuition. Here are some key terms to know →

Intuitive Knowing:

This term refers to the immediate understanding or insight that arises without conscious reasoning. It’s the sense of knowing something to be true or right without being able to explain exactly why. As a mom, this is always so difficult to explain but it really does help us out!

Intuitive Decision-Making:

Intuitive decision-making involves making choices based on gut feelings, instincts, or intuitive insights, rather than relying solely on logical analysis or deliberation. Yes, it can be put down to the ‘woo-woo’ – but again, this works! As moms, we have a deep connection to this. (if we want to)

Intuitive Intelligence:

Intuitive intelligence encompasses the ability to perceive and understand information intuitively, tapping into subconscious processes and emotional cues to gain insight and solve problems.

Intuitive Empathy:

Intuitive empathy is the capacity to intuitively sense and understand the emotions, perspectives, and experiences of others, even without explicit communication.

Intuitive Creativity:

Intuitive creativity involves accessing a flow state where ideas, inspiration, and solutions emerge spontaneously and effortlessly, often driven by intuitive insights and associations.

Intuitive Leadership:

Intuitive leadership emphasizes the importance of intuition in guiding decision-making, inspiring others, and fostering innovation within organizations or teams.

Intuitive Healing:

In various healing modalities, intuitive healing involves using intuitive insights and energy awareness to facilitate emotional, mental, and physical well-being.

Intuitive Development:

Intuitive development refers to practices and techniques aimed at cultivating and enhancing one’s intuitive abilities through meditation, mindfulness, visualization, and other exercises.

Intuitive Wisdom:

Intuitive wisdom encompasses the deeper understanding and insights that arise from tuning into one’s intuition, often regarded as a source of profound wisdom and guidance.

Intuitive Feedback:

Intuitive feedback refers to the subtle cues, sensations, and inner nudges that provide guidance and validation in response to a decision, action, or situation.

Understanding these terms can help you navigate discussions, literature, and practices related to intuition with greater clarity and insight. Whether you’re exploring intuition in personal growth, professional development, or spiritual inquiry, these concepts offer a foundation for deeper exploration and understanding.

The Pros and Cons of Intuition

Exploring the pros and cons of intuition can offer a balanced perspective on its benefits and limitations →

Pros of Intuition:

1. Rapid Decision-Making: Intuition allows for quick decision-making in situations where time is limited or information is incomplete. This can be particularly valuable in high-pressure environments or emergencies.
2. Access to Subconscious Wisdom: Intuition taps into the vast reservoir of subconscious knowledge and experiences, providing insights and solutions that may not be immediately apparent through conscious reasoning alone.
3. Enhanced Creativity: Intuition fosters creativity by enabling individuals to access novel ideas, perspectives, and solutions that arise spontaneously from intuitive insights and associations.
4. Emotional Intelligence: Intuition is closely linked to emotional intelligence, allowing individuals to empathize with others, navigate social interactions, and understand complex emotional dynamics more effectively.
5. Personal Guidance: Intuition serves as an internal compass, guiding individuals towards paths, decisions, and opportunities that align with their values, aspirations, and authentic selves.
6. Reduction of Stress and Anxiety: Trusting one’s intuition can reduce stress and anxiety by providing a sense of confidence, clarity, and self-assurance in decision-making and problem-solving.

Cons of Intuition:

1. Limited Rational Justification: Intuitive insights often lack explicit rational justification or evidence, making it challenging to explain or justify decisions to others, especially in professional or academic settings.
2. Over-reliance on Intuition: Relying too heavily on intuition without considering logical reasoning or empirical evidence can lead to impulsivity, reckless decision-making, or overlooking important factors. Everything in moderation!
3. Misinterpretation of Signals: Intuition may sometimes misinterpret subtle cues or signals, leading to misunderstandings, miscommunications, or misjudgments in interpersonal interactions or decision-making. For me personally, the ego is a big obstacle with this when it gets involved.
4. Potential for Self-Delusion: Intuition can sometimes lead individuals to misinterpret situations or deceive themselves, especially when wishful thinking or emotional biases cloud their judgment.

Understanding the pros and cons of intuition can help with focussing on its strengths while mitigating its limitations, fostering a balanced approach to decision-making, problem-solving, and personal growth.

How to use your intuition

Here are some strategies to help you connect with and trust your beautiful intuitive wisdom →

1. Cultivate Mindfulness:

Cultivate mindfulness practices such as meditation, deep breathing, or mindfulness exercises. Mindfulness helps quiet the mind, tune into the present moment, and cultivate awareness of inner thoughts, feelings, and sensations, laying the groundwork for intuitive insights to emerge.

2. Practice Self-Reflection:

Self-reflection through journaling, contemplation, or self-inquiry exercises. It’s always a good practice to explore your beliefs, values, and experiences as mothers, and to notice any intuitive nudges or insights that arise during moments of reflection.

3. Listen to Your Body:

This is an emphasis to pay attention to your body’s signals and sensations. Our bodies often provide subtle cues and gut feelings that can guide us in decision-making and parenting choices. Trust your physical instincts and bodily sensations as valuable sources of intuitive wisdom.

4. Tune into Your Child:

Tune into your child’s cues, signals, and expressions. Observe your child’s behavior, body language, and emotions with curiosity and empathy, allowing intuitive insights to inform your parenting responses and decisions.

5. Embrace Imperfection:

Embrace imperfection and let go of unrealistic expectations or pressures to be the “perfect” mother. Intuition thrives in moments of authenticity, vulnerability, and self-compassion, allowing you to parent from a place of genuine connection and presence.

6. Create Space for Intuition:

Create moments of stillness and silence in your daily life. Whether it’s through walks in nature, quiet moments before bed, or intentional pauses throughout the day, creating space for reflection and intuition to flourish is essential.

7. Trust Yourself:

Above all, trust yourself as the ultimate expert on your own children and your unique family dynamics. Trust your instincts, even when faced with uncertainty or conflicting advice, knowing that you possess the innate wisdom needed to navigate the journey of motherhood.

# Tips and Reminders for Intuition

Here are some additional tips and reminders you can use to embrace your intuition in motherhood →

Tips:

1. Start Small: Start with small decisions or moments where intuition feels accessible and low-stakes. This can help build confidence and trust in your intuitive abilities over time.
2. Practice Patience: Remember that developing intuition is a gradual process that requires patience and practice. Be gentle with yourself and to embrace the learning curve with curiosity and openness.
3. Seek Support: Seek support from trusted friends, family members, or professionals who can offer encouragement, validation, and guidance as you navigate your intuitive journey in motherhood.
4. Stay Open-Minded: Remember to stay open-minded and flexible in your approach to intuition. Explore different techniques, practices, and perspectives to find what resonates most deeply with you.
5. Celebrate Successes: Celebrate your intuitive successes, no matter how small. Acknowledge and affirm the moments when intuition leads to positive outcomes or deeper connections with your children.

Reminders:

1. You Are Enough.
2. Trust the Process.
3. Embrace Vulnerability.
4. Practice Self-Care.
5. Stay Connected with your intuition.

Closing

Trust yourself, mama! Listen to the whispers of intuition and allow it to carefully guide you through the joys and challenges of motherhood. Remember, you are enough, and your intuitive wisdom is a precious gift lighting your path with love, grace, and unwavering clarity. Embrace your journey with an open heart, and let your intuition lead you to the fulfillment and joy you deserve.

Although it takes around 9 months of pregnancy and hearing everyone saying “your life will never be the same again.” or “enjoy your last moments of freedom.” → it never sinks in or has the impact it should, until your baby arrives. There is no ‘gradual’ introduction into motherhood which finds us facing identity loss in motherhood.

Motherhood is a transformative journey, often marked by profound shifts in priorities, values, and daily routines. And it’s instant. 

 

Understanding Identity Loss in Motherhood

The challenges of balancing career aspirations with the demands of motherhood can exacerbate feelings of identity loss. The transition from a professional identity to a primarily caregiving role can be jarring, leaving many women questioning their sense of purpose and self-worth outside of motherhood. I know this is how I felt! I went from a decent corporate career, confidence in all my abilities and skills to taking care of a colic, reflux baby who didn’t sleep and I had zero confidence in anything that I did, second guessed myself at every turn and felt like I was failing every single minute.

I missed who I was. And then felt guilty of missing who I was. Who am I now? Is this it? I don’t know if this is what I signed up for! Why does every one else make it look so easy and happy? This is not easy and I am not happy! ← a few of the thoughts that went through my mind all day.

Truth is, although your pre-motherhood life is gone…. it gives you an opportunity to really dig into what is that you want. Amongst the sweats, dirty hair, washing, cooking, cleaning, feeding, changing, nappy duty, and so on …. you get to re-evaluate your priorities, your values and your desires.

Excited? You should be! (I’ve prepared a FREE Mom Identity Makeover Checklist for you)

 

Common Challenges Faced by Working Moms Around Identity Loss

Working moms encounter a unique set of challenges that can contribute to feelings of identity loss. These challenges may include:

1. Balancing Work and Family Responsibilities: Juggling career commitments with the demands of childcare can leave you feeling overwhelmed and stretched thin. It is the age old discussion around work-life balance and does it even exist?
2. Navigating Professional Identity: The shift from a professional career to a caregiving role can lead to uncertainty and self-doubt about your professional identity and future career prospects. Will you ever get taken seriously again?
3. Managing Guilt and Expectations: We often grapple with feelings of guilt, whether it’s guilt about not spending enough time with our kids or guilt about prioritizing careers over family. Spoiler alert – this never actually goes away. BUT .. you can manage your own expectations better. Reset your expectations on both the work and motherhood front and the guilt will start to slowly subside as you’re doing the best you can.
4. Coping with Societal Expectations: aka comparisonitus. We can’t help ourselves, I get it. Other moms make it look so easy, they look so put together, and so relaxed with smiling and happy kids. You know for a fact that this is not an accurate picture of their REAL lives. It is a moment. Your journey is unique and you’re nailing it!

 

Strategies for Navigating Identity Loss in Motherhood

Here few strategies I have incorporated into my personal journey to navigate identity loss and reclaim a sense of self and purpose:

1. Practice Self-Compassion. Yes, this is not easy especially in this season of your life. The demands on you are exhausting and overwhelming, I get it. But if you don’t have your own back – who else will? It is intense and it’s easy to question yourself and your abilities, but when you start to go down that rabbit hole → catch yourself. Focus on the fact that this incredibly unique human is in YOUR care. Not anyone else’s. You have been trusted with the biggest job in the world… that would not have been given to you if you were not qualified. You’ve got this → remember that and be kind to yourself during this process. It is totally normal and more than ok to feel the loss of your previous self. It wouldn’t be right if you didn’t!

2. Cultivate Self-Awareness. Take the time to reflect on your values, interests, and passions outside of motherhood and work as this does take time. This season of life is chaotic and messy, so it is probably your last thought to reflect, but when there is a quiet moment and you are able to take the opportunity – do it. It allows your mind to open up, move out of the chaos and into “what’s next”.

3. Set Boundaries. This is always a tricky one as a mom. You feel that you have to be there for and please everyone. But the truth is – you don’t! You are only responsible for your child(ren). That is all. So if you need to protect your peace, capacity or mental health → do it without hesitation. Let your network, family or colleagues know your boundary and stick to it. If it is not received well, that is a reflection on the other party and not you. It’s not yours to take on. You need to focus on YOU and your child(ren).

4. Seek Support. There is a stigma around asking for support as a mom these days and I really want it to be cancelled! There is a saying “It takes a village to raise a child” for a reason. Whilst social media dictates these ‘supermom’ vibes, I am here to tell you it is NOT true. What people put on social media does not depict their actual lives. Every single mom struggles with identity loss in motherhood. Every single mom struggles with self-doubt and low self-worth. If you need the help, you ask. It does not mean you are any less of a mother, it does not mean you can’t handle being a mother, what it DOES mean is that you are incredibly self-aware to know that you need a break and you’re putting your hand up.

5. Reevaluate Priorities & Values. This is a biggie! Your priorities before motherhood were very different as it was just you. Now you have a tiny human FULLY dependent on you 24/7. Yikes! And if you are anything like I was, the first newborn baby I held was my own. I don’t think I had a nurturing bone in my body!! I was all about the title, salary, car, office….

   Once you’ve reviewed and reassessed your priorities and values → they really do help you stay true to and aligned with yourself.

6. Practice Self-Care. Again, I know this seems like a far cry right now, but it is a necessary! Even if it’s a hot bath, a walk around the neighborhood, listening to an audio book. What ever it is that will help you keep your cup full → you HAVE to do it. Start with small things every single day and once it becomes a habit, you’ll see how your nervous system rewards you by responding to challenges in a more effective way. You can’t be the best mom you can if you’re not looking after you.

Identity loss in motherhood is hard, emotional and messy, but not uncommon. Every transformation comes from a loss of a former self. It’s all about growth, always! I’ve done a FREE Mom Identity Makeover Checklist for you to download.

 

Your New Identity as a Working Mom

Motherhood will always be your primary role. If your child(ren) needs you, you drop everything and you’re there. But it can’t consume you and take over your identity as anything else. It runs in parallel to whatever else you’re wanting to focus on. You deserve to live YOUR dream life too. Whatever that looks like. Want to start your own business? Do it! Want to push for a promotion? Do it! Want to write a book? Do it! Don’t stop your life just because you’ve entered into the world of motherhood… it is possible and necessary to do both.

One day your kids will leave home and you don’t want to be in the second phase of your life saying to yourself “What now? I don’t know what to do.” as that brings regret.

We get one shot… ONE. Let’s make the best of it while showing the world how strong we truly are.

Hey there, fellow moms! Are you feeling lost in the whirlwind of motherhood, wondering where your identity went amidst diaper changes and school runs? Don’t worry, I’ve got you! As a transformational coach, this is my jam!

What is Transformational Coaching?

Let’s dive into the magic of transformational coaching – a game-changer for moms like us who are craving that spark of personal growth and fulfillment. It’s all about embracing the journey, reclaiming your identity, and building the life you’ve always dreamed of, without an ounce of mom-guilt weighing you down.

So, what exactly is transformational coaching in our world?

It is all about living your full potential while juggling the beautiful chaos of motherhood. It’s not just about setting goals; it’s about diving deep into your mindset and behavior to create meaningful and lasting changes across every area of your life.

With a transformational coach you’ll have the opportunity of self-discovery and empowerment. Together, we’ll:

Peel back the layers to uncover those sneaky resistance patterns holding you back.

Embrace the power of positive thinking and reframe your mindset to invite abundance and joy into your life.

Unlock a world of possibilities, whether it’s reigniting your career passions, nurturing fulfilling relationships, or finding balance in your emotional well-being.

What Does a Transformational Coach Do?

I have crafted a coaching approach that’s all about YOU. We kick things off with immersive launch exercises, pinpointing exactly where you’re craving that transformation. From there, it’s all about consistent one-on-one sessions where we’ll identify any root causes to any sabotage and then I’ll cheer you on, keep you accountable, and celebrate every win along the way. It’s all about transformation. I am not just here to listen; I’m here to dig deep and help you shine. I’m all about smashing through those barriers, rewriting those limiting beliefs, unleashing your full potential and living your best life.

But let’s be real, mama—it’s not always easy. Convincing yourself that you’re worthy of change, that there’s a brighter, bolder version of you waiting to emerge—that’s where the magic happens. And I’m 100% here to walk that journey with you every step of the way.

Because when you succeed, I succeed. Your wins are my wins, and there’s nothing more rewarding than watching you bloom into the badass you were always meant to be.

Decoding the nuances between a Life Coach and a Transformation Coach

In the world of personal growth, life coaching and transformational coaching stand out as guiding lights, each with its unique approach to empowering individuals. But what sets them apart, and how do they align with your journey as a mom seeking self-discovery and fulfillment? Let’s take a look:

Scope:

Life Coaching: Like a versatile compass, life coaching spans across various dimensions of existence – career, relationships, health, and personal development. It’s about setting tangible goals and crafting a more balanced life narrative.

Transformational Coaching: Dive deeper into self with transformational coaching. It’s about fostering profound shifts in mindset, behavior, and the very essence of your life experience.

Goals and Changes:

Life Coaching: Think of life coaching as a roadmap to your aspirations – be it climbing the career ladder, shedding those extra pounds, or mastering time management. It’s about achieving concrete, external milestones.

Transformational Coaching: Prepare for an inner odyssey with transformational coaching, where the journey leads to the core of your being. Beyond the external, it’s about reframing beliefs, embracing new perspectives, and insightful personal growth and evolution.

Time Frame:

Life Coaching: With life coaching, the clock ticks to the rhythm of progress. It operates within a defined timeframe, focusing on measurable strides towards your goals.

Transformational Coaching: Time becomes fluid in transformational coaching. The emphasis is on the journey, recognizing that true metamorphosis takes time, patience, and an ongoing commitment to self-discovery.

Tools and Techniques:

Life Coaching: From action plans to accountability systems, life coaches arm you with practical tools tailored to propel you towards your objectives.

Transformational Coaching: Prepare to explore the inner sanctum of your psyche with transformational coaching techniques drawing from psychology, NLP, hypnotherapy and mindfulness. It’s about unraveling the layers, reshaping beliefs, and igniting profound shifts from within.

Client’s Needs:

Life Coaching: Ideal for those with specific goals seeking guidance and support to navigate their path to success.

Transformational Coaching: For souls yearning for a deeper resonance, finding their zone of genius, and where the woo-woo rubber hits the road in self-exploration and transformation.

In coaching, whether life or transformational, the path you choose should resonate with you and align with your aspirations as a mom navigating the beautiful chaos of motherhood.

# Examples of Transformation Coaching

1. Health

Imagine reclaiming your vitality and energy as a mom, prioritizing your well-being without guilt. My health transformation coaching is designed for busy moms like you, focusing on sustainable habits, self-care practices, and nourishing your body and mind. Let’s walk down the path of holistic wellness together, empowering you to thrive in every aspect of motherhood and life.

2. Weight

As a mom, your relationship with your body is powerful and complex. My weight transformation coaching offers a safe space for moms to redefine their self-image, release dieting struggles, and embrace body positivity. Let’s ditch the pressure of societal norms and embrace a journey of self-love and acceptance, empowering you to feel confident and radiant in your mom bod.

3. Life

Motherhood can sometimes feel like spinning plates, with little time for your own aspirations and dreams. My life transformation coaching for moms is about reclaiming your identity, rediscovering your passions, and finding balance amidst the chaos. Together, let’s carve out space for your personal growth and fulfillment, honoring both your role as a mom and your individual journey.

4. Professional

Whether you’re returning to work after maternity leave or exploring new career paths as a mom, my professional transformation coaching is tailored to support your ambitions. From refining your skills to navigating the challenges of working motherhood, let’s chart a course for your professional success and fulfillment, empowering you to thrive in your career on your terms.

5. Relationship

Motherhood can impact every aspect of your relationships, from your partnership with your spouse or partner to your connections with friends and family. My relationship transformation coaching offers a nurturing space for moms to strengthen bonds, navigate conflicts, and prioritize their emotional well-being. Let’s cultivate deeper connections and greater harmony in your relationships, empowering you to nurture both your family and yourself.

Who is Transformation Coaching For?

Transformation coaching is tailor-made for individuals who are looking for a deeper self-discovery and growth. It’s for moms who may feel like they’ve lost touch with their identity amidst the demands of motherhood and are eager to rediscover their passion and purpose. It’s for those who crave more than just superficial changes in their lives; they’re yearning for profound shifts in mindset, behavior, and overall fulfillment. If you’re ready to peel back the layers, delve deep into your inner world, and rewrite your story with empowerment and authenticity, then transformation coaching is your guiding light.

Who is Transformation Coaching NOT For?

Transformation coaching may not be the right fit for individuals who are resistant to change or unwilling to explore their inner landscape. It’s not for those seeking quick fixes or external validation without a willingness to put in the inner work. If you’re content with the status quo and unwilling to challenge your beliefs or confront uncomfortable emotions, then transformation coaching may not align with your current mindset and readiness for growth. It’s essential to be open, committed, and ready to embrace the journey of transformation wholeheartedly.

Why is Transformation Coaching Effective?

Transformation coaching is effective because it operates on the principle that sustainable change begins from within. Unlike surface-level approaches, transformation coaching digs deep into the root causes of patterns and behaviors, fostering lasting shifts in mindset and perspective. By addressing beliefs, values, and emotions at their core, transformation coaching empowers individuals to break free from limiting patterns, unlock their true potential, and create a life of purpose and fulfillment. Through personalized guidance, support, and accountability, transformation coaching provides a transformative journey that ignites growth, resilience, and self-empowerment.

Closing

In coaching, whether life or transformational, the path you choose should resonate with you and align with your aspirations as a mom navigating the beautiful chaos of motherhood. It’s about finding your unique rhythm, embracing your journey, and stepping into your power with confidence and authenticity. So, are you ready to take on this transformative adventure? Let’s rewrite your story together and unlock the incredible potential that lies within you!

Love, in its true form, is a beautiful and profound emotion that brings joy, support, and fulfillment to our lives. However, not all expressions of affection are genuine. In some cases, individuals with narcissistic tendencies employ a manipulative tactic known as “love bombing.” This deceptive strategy can be emotionally damaging and lead to unhealthy relationships. I want to dive into the concept of love bombing, recognize the red flags, and explore a few ways to protect ourselves from its harmful effects.

 

What is Love Bombing?

Love bombing is a psychological manipulation technique used by narcissists, sociopaths, and other toxic personalities. It involves overwhelming someone with affection, attention, compliments, and other positive behaviors to create a deep emotional connection quickly. The goal is to gain control and create dependency in the targeted individual.

Let’s be real, it can feel incredible when someone pays you SO much attention and says all the things that you have been wanting to hear. You’re literally the center of their universe! I know for me, this was the easiest way to break me down. Whilst I have always had attention in my life, when someone took it to the level that narcissists do, I could not help but feel like I was the best thing since sliced bread! 

Love bombing doesn’t only happen at the beginning of your relationship. When you find the incredible strength to leave, the narcissist will jump into action again and it will happen all over again. 

 

The Typical Love Bombing Tactics

1. Excessive Flattery: Love bombers often shower their targets with an extravagant amount of compliments. They may idealize the person, claiming they’re the most perfect and amazing individual they’ve ever met.
2. Rapid Escalation: Love bombers tend to push the relationship forward at an unnatural pace. Declarations of love, talks of marriage, and future plans may surface after only a short time of knowing each other.
3. Overwhelming Attention: You might find yourself inundated with messages, calls, and gifts. The love bomber wants to monopolize your time and make you feel special.
4. Isolation: A classic love bombing tactic is to isolate the target from friends and family. They may convince you that they’re the only one who truly cares about you, creating a sense of dependency.
5. Grand Gestures: Expect extravagant surprises and gifts. Love bombers are known for their over-the-top romantic gestures to win you over.
6. Mirroring: These manipulators may mimic your interests and beliefs to create a false sense of compatibility. They pretend to be your perfect match.
7. Promising the Moon: Love bombers are known for making grand promises about the future, like planning a life together. These promises can create a false sense of security and commitment.

 

Protecting Yourself

If you feel that you’re in a potential love bombing experience, here are a few things you can do to protect yourself, and if you are in one, the narcissist will very soon start to gaslight and show their true intentions as you will not be a supply for them. Win Win!

 

Trust Your Instincts: Listen to your gut feeling. If something seems too good to be true, it probably is.

Take It Slow: Healthy relationships develop over time. Don’t rush into commitments or major life decisions.

Maintain Independence: Keep your connections with friends and family intact. Don’t isolate yourself from your support system.

Communication: Open and honest communication is essential. If you feel overwhelmed, express your concerns to your partner.

Boundaries: Establish and maintain healthy boundaries in your relationships. Don’t let anyone cross them.

 

In conclusion, love bombing is a manipulative strategy used by individuals with narcissistic tendencies to control and manipulate their targets. Recognizing the red flags is the first step in protecting yourself from these harmful and toxic relationships. By trusting your instincts, taking things slow, and maintaining healthy boundaries, you can safeguard your emotional well-being and build healthier, more authentic relationships based on genuine love and trust.

Introduction

Many of us moms find ourselves feeling stuck, overwhelmed, and struggling with low self-esteem, uncertain of how to break free from this cycle. If you’re  experiencing these emotions, know that there are practical steps you can take to elevate your self-esteem and regain your confidence, ultimately leading to a more fulfilling and empowered life.

 

Let’s unpack what self esteem is – it’s essentially how we value and perceive ourselves. On a guess – I’d say that it’s probably not too high … Logically we are probably looking at this and saying “huh? That doesn’t make sense! I’m my biggest advocate. I am all I have! Why would I not value myself or perceive myself as the amazing person that I am?” However, in reality, we often fall short in being our own advocates, and we don’t always hold ourselves in the highest regard. The reason for this is deeply rooted in my favourite part of the brain. Somewhere along the journey, someone said or did something that we internalized, incorporating it into our identity and personal narrative. It could have been a caregiver, a parent, a teacher, a friend, or a coach – anyone who held significance in our lives. They unknowingly sowed a seed of doubt, and over time, we allowed it to take root and flourish. 

 

Completing & Healing Your Past

Our past experiences significantly shape our self-perception and overall confidence. Every experience, interaction, and encounter we’ve had in the past contributes to the lens through which we view ourselves. The positive moments uplift us, while the negative ones can create deep-seated wounds. These experiences might include instances where we faced criticism, rejection, or what we deem as failure. Over time, these experiences become part of our mental landscape, impacting how we perceive our abilities and worthiness.

 

It’s essential to recognize and address any lingering wounds from your past that might be contributing to your low self-esteem. The first step in healing is acknowledging that these wounds exist (without judgment). This requires introspection and a willingness to confront the discomfort they might bring. Perhaps there’s a particular memory or event that still triggers feelings of inadequacy or self-doubt. By identifying these triggers, you can begin the process of unraveling their impact on your self-esteem. 

 

Here are some questions that you could ask yourself to help you along:

1. Can you recall specific moments or events from your past that left you feeling particularly inadequate or undermined? Reflect on instances where you felt your self-esteem took a hit, whether due to criticism, rejection, or other negative experiences.
2. Are there recurring patterns in your thoughts or emotions that seem to be linked to these past experiences? Consider whether certain triggers or memories consistently evoke feelings of self-doubt or low self-esteem, even if they occurred long ago.
3. Do you find it challenging to discuss or think about certain memories from your past? Identifying topics that cause discomfort or avoidance can be indicative of unresolved emotional wounds that might be impacting your self-perception.
4. Have you noticed how your reactions to present situations might be influenced by past experiences? Examine whether your responses to current challenges, interactions, or opportunities are shaped by events from your past that affected your self-esteem.
5. Are there specific individuals who played a role in these past experiences, and how do you feel towards them now? Consider the people who were present during these moments – whether they were caregivers, peers, family members, or others. Assess how your feelings towards them might be influencing your self-esteem.

 

Reflect on moments that may have left you feeling inadequate or undervalued. Take time to revisit your past experiences, especially the ones that have left a mark on your self-esteem. These might be times when you felt criticized, overlooked, or not good enough. Reflect on the circumstances, the people involved, and the emotions you experienced. This reflection helps you gain insight into how these moments shaped your beliefs about yourself.

 

Here are some questions:

1. Can you recall specific instances where you felt criticized or undervalued in your past? Think about situations where you experienced negative feedback or felt that your efforts were not acknowledged as they should have been.
2. How did these moments make you feel at the time? Reflect on the emotions you experienced during those instances – whether it was sadness, anger, frustration, or any other feeling.
3. Who were the individuals involved in these moments, and what roles did they play in your life? Consider whether these instances involved family members, friends, teachers, colleagues, or any other significant people in your life.
4. Did you internalize any specific beliefs about yourself as a result of these experiences? Explore whether these moments led you to form beliefs about your capabilities, worth, or identity. Did you start thinking of yourself as less competent or valuable because of these events?
5. How have these past experiences influenced your thoughts and behaviors in the present? Consider whether these experiences have led you to doubt yourself, avoid certain situations, or hold back from pursuing opportunities due to fear of similar outcomes.

 

By acknowledging these experiences and allowing yourself to process the associated emotions, you can release their grip on your self-worth. Denying or suppressing past hurts only prolongs their influence over you. Instead, give yourself permission to feel and process the emotions attached to these experiences. This might involve allowing yourself to grieve for the pain you felt, or even acknowledging the anger you hold towards those who contributed to your low self-esteem. Processing these emotions can help lessen their impact and free you from their hold.

 

Forgiveness, both for others and yourself (spoiler alert – this is HARD!), is a powerful tool for healing and moving forward. Forgiveness is a transformative act that liberates you from the chains of resentment and bitterness. It’s important to forgive not just those who may have hurt you, but also yourself. Forgiveness doesn’t condone actions; rather, it empowers you to let go of their hold on your self-esteem. Through forgiveness, you create space for growth, healing, and the reclamation of your self-worth.

 

Assessing What Is In Your Present

Self-awareness is a cornerstone of building self-esteem. Take time to reflect on your current beliefs, thoughts, and behaviors. Are you overly critical of yourself? Do you often compare yourself to others? Recognizing negative self-talk and patterns that hinder your self-esteem is the first step in challenging them. Focus on your strengths and accomplishments, no matter how small they may seem. Shift your perspective to acknowledge your unique qualities and the positive impact you have on your family and those around you.

 

Here are some important questions:

1. What are you saying to yourself every day?
2. Do you often compare yourself to others? 
3. What are some areas in your life where you tend to be overly self-critical? 
4. List at least 5 strengths or accomplishments, no matter how small, that you are proud of. 
5. How do you think your unique qualities positively impact those around you, including your family? 

 

Designing Your Future and Choice

Empowering self-esteem is built upon envisioning a positive future for yourself. Define your aspirations and set achievable goals aligned with your values. It’s crucial to strike a balance between professional, personal and family goals. Break down your objectives into manageable steps, celebrating each milestone along the way. Cultivate a growth mindset, understanding that setbacks are part of the journey. Take advantage of the power of choice – choose to prioritize self-care, engage in activities that bring you joy, and surround yourself with supportive individuals who uplift your spirits.

 

One final task – write your current self a letter from your future self.  

 

Conclusion

If you’re stuck in life and grappling with low self-esteem, hypnotherapy offers a powerful path to transformation. By completing and healing your past, assessing your present, and designing a future of choice, you can rebuild your self-esteem and step into your full potential. This journey requires courage and commitment, but the results are life-changing.

Remember that seeking help is a sign of strength, and investing in your self-esteem not only benefits you but also positively impacts your family and the way you navigate your journey.

Through hypnotherapy, you have the opportunity to rewrite your story, cultivate self-love, and embrace the confident, empowered mom you truly are.