Hey! I'm Taniel
Mother of 3. (1 x singleton and twins).
Childhood trauma, sexual abuse, physical abuse, narcissistic abuse, corporate bullying, sexual harassment, abuse of power and burnout…
And then motherhood which opened it all up like a pandora’s box! I faced weight issues, anxiety and severe depression. It was time to face my demons… heal and step into the life I was put here to live.
This Is My Story...
Pre-Mom
Born & raised in Zim with a pretty spectacular childhood … until it wasn’t. I was molested, by someone I trusted, from a very young age and then sexually assaulted at 21 by someone else I trusted. I learnt at a young age to disassociate and wear many masks -> whichever mask was required to get me “accepted”, but not hurt. I adopted an extremely unhealthy relationship with my body and food walking into a path of bulimia and self harm.
Navigating my way through painful experiences set up my belief system of “you’re different”, “you can’t trust anyone”, “you don’t deserve any of that”, “you can’t rely on anyone, do it yourself”. Needless to say, countless challenges faced me along this incredibly lonely journey…..
I went from a benin narcissistic relationship to a covert-malignant narcissistic relationship, which very nearly killed me. While living my life in total fear, isolated from my family, and questioning if I was crazy all the time, I was busy trying to grow a career in a global corporation, making sure no one at work knew anything that was going on. After 4 years, I found the strength to leave the toxic relationship, and it took me a good 4-5 years to heal.
I was doing incredibly well in my career, super proud to be so young and in such a great position within one of the biggest corporations in the world. It had all my focus and it was my “safe” space, or so I thought. I began to experience extreme levels of bullying and gaslighting and no matter how many times I reached out for help within the organisation, I was shut down as I was deemed the lower category employee.
My whole world, as I knew it, became dark.
- What is wrong with me?
- What did I do?
- Why can’t I just get it right?
- Why don’t people like me?
- I’ve tried so hard, it will just be better if I’m no longer here
…. some daily thought processes I had, multiple times a day.
My anxiety had become high-functioning and while it was keeping me employed, it was paralyzing me. My depression went to levels that were so dark and the pain was so real. YEARS… years I was stuck in fight or flight. Reacting to everything and anything with a trauma response.
I was on track with all of my goals to be a corporate powerhouse boss lady… then I fell pregnant. I was not planning it or focussing on it so it was a bit of a shock to both my husband and I, but more so for me as I was in a very good position in another global corporation and about to get promoted. A leadership change happened and I went through intensive bullying & gaslighting where I was hospitalized at 8 months pregnant due to stress.
A Mom
After my son (Nathan) was born from an incredibly traumatic birth, I had terrible postpartum depression and I couldn’t go anywhere or do anything as I was always fearful of something happening. I ended up resigning from that job before my maternity leave was up, and things started to lighten up.
Move on a few years, with financial troubles and an unstable marriage, I found myself in the worst situation to date which led me into excessive drinking, dark depression and attempted suicide. I was working for an incredibly toxic company; the bullying, shouting, aggression and behavior was untenable. But because I had this fear of financial challenges from a few years before, I was putting myself through it as one fear was worse than the other. I then found out that I was pregnant again (after being told it probably wouldn’t happen) … with twins! When I was 6 months pregnant – I lost that job. The best thing that ever happened to me!
I have beautiful & healthy twins (Maya & Aaron) and I run a successful online business. The pain of staying the same getting the same result far outweighed the pain of the potential risk to go ALL IN and want more!!
I am beyond grateful for my life… it is not easy, it is messy and there is no shortage of chaos. But, it’s mine! 💞
Understanding where the belief systems come from and how they were formed, is the most liberating power you can give yourself. Here is where my growth mindset was born and I live with constant and immense gratitude to have discovered how incredible your mind can be!
My Core Values
Integrity
Being honest & having your actions aligned with your words.
Respect
Full acceptance of everyone. No judgement. Praise when it is due.
Accountability
Show up. Take responsibility & move forward. Take the risk, fail & learn.
