EP65: Why You Feel Disconnected From Yourself
Have you ever caught yourself thinking:
“I don’t even know who I am anymore.”
Most women assume that feeling arrives after a major life event.
Motherhood.
Burnout.
A difficult relationship.
A demanding career.
But what if losing yourself isn’t one dramatic moment?
What if it happens quietly, almost invisibly, through hundreds of tiny decisions where you slowly stop choosing yourself?
In this week’s episode of Ditch the Debate, I explore what I’ve started calling The Self-Disconnect.
Not because you’ve lost who you are.
But because you’ve gradually stopped including yourself in your own life.
The small moments that change everything
Self-abandonment rarely looks dramatic.
It sounds like:
- “I’ll deal with me later.”
- “It’s easier if we do what everyone else wants.”
- “I’m probably overreacting.”
- “I’ll just keep the peace.”
On their own, these thoughts don’t seem harmful.
But repeated over months and years, they teach us something powerful:
That everyone else’s needs come before our own.
Why capable women are especially vulnerable
One of the biggest myths is that women disconnect from themselves because they’re weak.
I actually believe the opposite.
It happens because we’re capable.
We’re adaptable.
We’re resilient.
We’re the people others rely on.
We cope.
We carry.
We adjust.
And while those qualities are strengths, they can also become the reason we slowly stop checking in with ourselves.
The cost isn’t what you think
The cost isn’t simply poor boundaries or saying yes too often.
Those are symptoms.
The deeper cost is losing your relationship with yourself.
You stop trusting your intuition.
You stop recognising your own voice.
You start believing you’ve become anxious, indecisive or lacking confidence.
But what if those aren’t personality traits?
What if they’re the consequence of years spent disconnecting from yourself?
A question to think about this week
Where, in the smallest possible way, are you leaving yourself out of your own life?
Not the dramatic answer.
The tiny one.
Because reconnecting with yourself doesn’t begin with a huge life change.
It begins by noticing the moments where you’ve quietly stopped listening to yourself.
Listen to the full episode of Ditch the Debate and discover why reconnecting with yourself isn’t about becoming someone new – it’s about remembering the person who has been there all along.
